


A Big Surprise

by TheMockingCrows



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Gaping, Anal Sex, Guardiancest, M/M, Mentions of Striderpile with 18+ Dave and Dirk, Ridiculously large dildo, Sex Toys, Stretching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 11:58:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13213284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMockingCrows/pseuds/TheMockingCrows
Summary: After years of being together, Bro's fairly sure he knows what makes David tick. But even so, after so long, it just means there's more room for surprises. Especially very large surprises he's absolutely certain he'll love, once the initial shock wears off.





	A Big Surprise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Midnight_Disasters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight_Disasters/gifts).



> For the Stridercest Secret Santa of 2017!
> 
> Tumblr mirror: http://themockingcrows.tumblr.com/post/169140032702

     It had taken Bro less than ten minutes after getting home to get David pinned against the wall and half naked, teeth at his neck and one leg hiked up, held against his own hip. He had a feeling that it would wind up taking more than ten minutes to get to the rest of this night once David got a look at what had come in the mail earlier, so a good warm up to get him hard and somewhere in the neighborhood of desperate was the best plan of action far as Bro could decide. Wouldn't hurt anything, at least. The package had already been swiftly taken from the front door and dropped on their bed unopened, label clearly showing David's name turned so he'd be able to see it from the side later. Everything was, more or less, plotted like clockwork.

     Who needed trails of rose petals and sappy shitty music when you had determination, wandering hands and a deep seated appreciation for spontaneous frottage on your side?

     The only thing that hung in the balance now was if David would even like this ham handed offer of a present. Bro had taken such time and consideration in ordering that gift, from the color fade (a delightful yellow orange to a deep rusty red like molten lava trapped in a solid mold without cooling), to the texture and softness. He'd ordered material samples from different companies in hopes of finding just the right softness and sturdiness that would hold the shapes, discussed options, and had been closely studying David each time they fooled around to see what he might be able or willing to take.. with a backup of what he himself was capable of and willing to handle in case David wanted nothing to do with the gift in the end. Wouldn't go to waste either way, at least. Hell, maybe Dirk and Dave would wind up growing into it. ..Not that he'd let those two anywhere near this particular toy till they were older and more able to tell their own damn boundaries instead of being headstrong little shits and hurting themselves like dumbasses.

     If it was a nice gift to share, it wasn't so much a loss as a bonus. Fingers crossed it ended up as more than an impressive paperweight.

     “Fuck, you're working fast tonight,” David pointed out when Bro went for his shirt after tugging off his tie, undoing buttons so he could bite and kiss at the skin exposed beneath the moving fabric. He wasn't able to get much traction or move much to get at Bro's clothing with how he'd been penned in against the wall, but it seemed that this was precisely what Bro wanted. David wasn't complaining, really, he enjoyed nights when Bro was thirsty enough to get like this and do most of the work. Made a guy feel special, and sometimes raised the stakes on what he'd need to do to top it the next time they fucked, a playful layer of competition keeping things fresh over the years. Dave and Dirk didn't count: they were endless enthusiasm to contend with already. Bro was a league of his own and had been for ages.

     “Got a problem with that? Could go slower, see how many strokes of your cock through your pants it'd take you make you a mess. Keep you in the living room and take all night seeing just how many times I can get you off after all,” Bro said, voice dropping to a croon when he felt David shudder and bow his back, trying to push his abdomen forward to get hot lips on his flesh for a while longer.

     “No, shit, no, just. What, is it a special occasion?” David asked, shuffling from foot to foot when his pants got yanked down, pressing back against the wall when he felt nails lightly raking along his thighs and hips before his underwear hit the floor. “Pretty sure I plugged the important things into my phone. Anniversaries, birthdays, that time you dodged an arrest while we were on vacation and didn't get us deported-”

     “You still owe me cake from last anniversary of that, you said you were watchin' calories last time.”

     “Yeah, yeah, cake, whatever. Seriously, did I miss something? Orrrr... did something good happen today?” David guessed, trying to keep his breath when Bro got impatient with how things were proceeding and hooked his arms around David's thighs, lifting him up and toting him off towards the bed. If David wouldn't stop asking questions, Bro'd just get to the meat of the matter. He cussed when he was unceremoniously dropped to the mattress and bounced briefly, sitting upright fast as he could to re-orient himself and see if he could get involved in stripping Bro down a few layers himself. His hand nudged the box beside him, finally making him look down and examine it a bit closer, confused why it was there at all instead of on the kitchen table or on the dresser.

     It bore his name and a USPS sticker, though the box was plain and unassuming. No hints, no Amazon logo, no delivery instructions. David glanced up to Bro before gesturing to the box.

     “Uh..?”

     “It's yours.”

     “I mean. Yeah, I can see that from the label, thanks. Clearly packaged and delivered just for me, but this is the kicker: what is it? I don't remember ordering anything. ...Did the kids get on my ebay account again?”

     “Nah. This is from me,” Bro said, sitting on the foot of the bed to peel his shoes and socks off, hinting that the pants may come free later as well. David couldn't see his eyes for the shades in the way, but he could more than easily sense that he was being stared at. Deciding to play along with the over exposure game, he popped his shades off and set them aside before picking up the box and tugging it onto his bare thighs, jabbing at the packing tape with his thumb nail to get some access to rip the thing open. He took out the handful of bubble wrap and scooted some stray packing peanuts away before sinking his hands down inside to lift out-

     “What the actual fuck is this supposed to be, Ambrose? A party gag??” David asked as he shifted the toy to one hand. It was wide and thicker than any toy he'd ever held in his hands that wasn't strictly designed to get bedazzled and be placed on the coffee table to make guests confused over coffee.

     “A present,” Bro said simply, studying David's expression.

     “...A present,” David said, giving it a wiggle, watching how it moved. Though the colors were interesting, and the size was intimidating, a part of him was fascinated by how it moved and felt in his hand. It had a good weight to it and the texture was soft over a firmer core, giving under his grip similarly to how an actual dick would. The thing even had veining details and the gentle curve of a proper head, and from that level of care alone he was more than willing to excuse the lack of a suction cup on it.

     Not that this thing would probably do that well with a suction cup at all. Two minutes max and it'd pop off under its own weight probably.

     “Your ears clogged?” Bro asked, expression carefully calm even as he pulled his shades off to set them aside, leaving David to struggle and try to figure out how serious he was actually being. Fucking A, he signed up to get plowed into next week, not try to figure out how seriously he should be taking a dildo the size of a kids arm. “It's a present. I'm sure you'll like it, I did everything I could to be sure it was the right size, the right shape, the right texture. Should fit like a glove.”

     “Yeah, and I'm the glove,” David said with a straight face. “No. Fuck, this is gonna be like fisting a sock puppet, the fuck were you even thinking?”

     “Gimme the lube, lay back and I'll show you what I was thinking,” Bro offered, lifting his hands up in an open palmed shrugging gesture, half begging half playful.

     “Again: you've gotta be pulling my leg here. What's the gag. I'm supposed to suddenly swoon and give you this baseball bat of a toy and you're gonna ram it home and I'll jizz and it'll be a happy weekend?”

     “More or less but you're skipping the part where I fuck you with it till you gimme an ahegao face. C'mon, we've been fuckin' for how many years now? You think I don't know you as well as you know yourself? Maybe even better, 'cause I'm more willing to throw new shit like this over the plate because I know if you give me twenty minutes you'll never wanna get rid of it,” Bro said, moving to crawl up the mattress the short distance to where David sat.

     While David was stubborn, he also was smart enough to know when to take a risk for a good outcome when the odds were in his favor overall. Bro was a smart man and he knew his sex toys, and David also knew he'd rather lay down and die than hurt him on purpose when they were outside of a spar. Two rights don't make a wrong. Right? Cautiously, he held it out till Bro took the toy from his hand, then sat back on his elbows.

     “Go ahead and lay back,” Bro instructed. “Lemme snag the lube and we'll get this show on the road.”

     “Dave and Dirk'll be home soon, I was going to get dinner going,” David defended, hesitancy there but a mask.

     “Says the guy who was totally down to have me climbin' him in the living room just before this,” Bro snorted as he rummaged in the bedside drawer for the familiar bottle, popping the cap up with his thumb. “Spread your legs and gimme some room to work.”

     “So just. Laying back? You sure it wouldn't be easier on my knees?” asked David, unable to tear his eyes away from the toy until Bro set it aside.

     “Nah. You're fine just how you are,” Bro promised as he closed the lube again without actually taking any of the liquid out. He dropped the bottle to the side and crawled to cover David over with his body again, same as he had against the wall earlier, though the intensity was different this time. The frantic edge was a slower burn, and though David was caged in his arms, being pressed into a soft mattress was leagues away from being inched up a hard wall. Bro rocked his hips, still clothed, and bit gently along David's neck till his lover started to relax and react to him naturally.

     It was a dance they both knew so well it was like they shared a heartbeat, falling in step with each movement to stay in line. Bro would move one way, David would move the other and follow suit. Within five minutes he'd parted his legs to get Bro and his grinding even closer, wanting to entrap him closer with his legs to hold on better. The kisses ranged from breathless and quick to teasing nibbles at lips, to tongues exploring and tasting with abandon. David was pretty sure he'd managed to get Bro to groan at least three times, and gave up giving a fuck that he himself was moaning shortly around the time he caught himself planting the balls of his feet and trying to push upwards against the sturdy body above him.

     He just about cried when Bro finally slipped to the side and got the lube, coating his fingers liberally and going straight for the prize the second he'd finished instead of drawing it out any longer. David didn't give two shits how long they took usually, but when his dick hurt this badly, he wanted at least SOMETHING to work with.

     Bro worked him with one finger, then two, before moving steadily up to three. His pants remained on and perfectly in place (though David could see some telltale tightness at the crotch), and he showed no signs of ditching them for a quick round. Instead, David realized between panted groans that Bro was glancing at the toy he'd set aside. Judging from how much he felt the man spreading and splaying his fingers, working him steadily more and more open as he went while his other hand stroked at his dick to keep him distracted, the moment of truth was coming.

     He wasn't worried anymore. Bro was being thorough and gentle, taking his time, making David go mad with every touch, every stroke till finally he started begging for either release or mercy. None of Bro's movements were being performed with the end goal of making him come. Instead, it was the most frustrating tease David had experienced in ages outside of being tied up or otherwise restrained somehow.

     “For fucks sake either move your hand or...!” David ground out from behind his clenched teeth, trying to rock his hips forward and back but being frustratingly blocked each time by Bro lightening the pressure to prevent him from going too far or too hard on his own, edging him close and then backing off more and more, over and over. He wanted to scream.

     “Or what?”

     “You already know God damn it, just  _ move your hand or  _ **_do_ ** _ something _ !”

     “Say please.”

     “Fuck you.”

     “Well, since you won't ask nice,” Bro said, voice a perfect mimic of actual sorrow as he pulled both his hands away, leaving David opened wide in back and with a throbbing, angry cock up front. “Maybe next tim-”

     “AMBROSE FOR FUCKS SAKE! Christ a-fuckin'-live, this what you want?? This how we playing this game?” David asked, accent shifting in his frustration as he rocked himself and spread his knees wider in invitation. “Look, fine, fuck, use the toy. I need it. I need you. I need  _ something  _ because I goddamn refuse to lay back and let this thing wilt again, I wanna get off and you need to deliver already.”

     “Say please,” Ambrose said as he reached for the toy, applying a bit of lube to it and working it over the head and length almost ominously. “Tell me how bad you want it.”

     “ **_Please_ ** ,” David groaned. “Please give me the giant dick or give me yours, come on, I'm dyin' here!”

     “There, was that so hard? You did so good baby,” Bro crooned, reaching over to pat his taut abdomen with the flat of his palm reassuringly before scooting up beside him again, arranging his body at a good angle to both reach at David easily and work the toy. He positioned the rounded head where his fingers had so busily been prepping him earlier, then glanced towards his lover's face. “...Take a deep breath and then breathe out slow.”

     Not wanting to risk anything going wrong, knowing the advice was being said for a reason, stubborn David took his big breath and exhaled slowly through his teeth. While Bro stroked gently at his cock, slow kneading motions, he pressed the heavy toy with even pressure till it slid inside past the sturdy ring of muscle that had momentarily tried to keep it out and away.

     In what felt like a dizzyingly short amount of time, Bro had a quarter of the toy in and was gently withdrawing it, only to return it once again. Every little bobbing movement was making David shiver, and soon enough groan as Bro started to feed in more of the toy with each return thrust, inching more and more of its girth into his body till he swore he could see a small bump on his abdomen.

     No. No, that was actually there, he hadn't been seeing things. Holy shit. David was entranced with watching the little bump move and change, growing more noticeable whenever he felt Bro feeding more of the toy into his body, straining him, testing his limits. He'd stopped paying attention to the stroking when they approached the final fourth of the beastly toy, Bro leaning to press their lips together, swallowing down the sounds he was making.

     It was scary. It was intimidating to worry about what was happening and if it would all be okay, if it would suddenly hurt or not. It was... over a lot sooner than he'd thought. Feeling very stretched and far too full, David breathed in shallow pants against Bro's lips, trying to ignore the firm pressure against his prostate and the steady dribble of pre-come leaking from his cock.

     Bro pulled back to admire his work, the toy fully in place, David shaking and flushed, dick still standing at attention and twitching hard in desire. He was gorgeous like this, vulnerable and needy, hazy eyes looking only at him as if he were the entire world. He'd stopped the gentle fucking motions, but the stillness wasn't suiting David well anymore, making him cautiously rock his hips and move his body this way and that, shivering any time it made the toy move or a muscle tense just right over the silicone inside him.

     “ _ Please _ ,” David eventually, no prompting needed. He wanted Bro back, wanted held, wanted him to move the damn thing again in the way that had felt so good earlier. Moving himself wasn't doing it, and the idea of yanking the toy around himself from this angle wasn't appealing at all. Not right now. ..Maybe another time, now that David was sure he was able to take it, he would take the reins. But right now? No. Bro had started the engine, he'd driven the car, and now he could damn well park it. “Do it, do it, I'm almost there, c'mon..!”

     “Think you could handle a round two after?” Bro asked as he leaned close again, kissing the damp side of David's neck as he reached down and began to thrust the toy again, longer and longer pulls back before rougher thrusts back inside, rocking his body in time. He didn't touch his cock, leaving it to bob in time the rougher the movements became.

     “Rou-?? Round two? Round two of that, this? Fuck no!” David gasped, finally starting to move more freely. He rocked his hips, arched his back, let himself be louder with his groans and moans, the heavy pants, the soft, whimpery noises that his exhales were tainted with.

     “Round two with me,” Bro murmured, biting at David's lower lip till it stung. “Think you'd be able to handle me after this?”

     “Gonna be all loose, you sure you want tha- ahh  _ fuck _ ,” he hissed through his teeth.

     “I've already had you as sloppy seconds and thirds before,” Bro pointed out. “What's the harm of not-so sloppy seconds..? You'll be sensitive as fuck still, probably, and I could go hard as I wanted.”

     “Fine, fine, just  _ don't stop _ !”

     “I hope the boys turn up soon to hear you. Or see you, even,” Bro said as he dropped all pretense and went to town, putting more force into the toy till it felt like he'd accidentally punch David in the ass at any time. He angled it a bit, not wanting the slip up to happen or risk a fisting joke appearing, hoping to get just that little extra pressure on his prostate, wanting to see if he could make him holler. “Could probably get Dave to snap some good pictures to remember this by. Can you even imagine if this thing had a vibe attachment..?”

     Luckily, David had finally lost the ability to focus on or give two fucks about Bro's quiet chatter, only caring that his mouth was near his own and that he kept moving the toy as hard as he could. It was difficult to breathe, to think, to focus on anything but the feeling of push and pull and increasing pressure. Something had to give, and it was David who yielded first, head tipping back to gasp sharply as he finally came, a few heavy splashes of white hitting his stomach and chest, threateningly close towards his face from the intensity and angle. Bro lightened the thrusting motions to gentle rocks, letting David ride out the wave, feeling the resistance his body put up even now as his muscles tensed and spasmed, leaving him good and full till the tension finally left his body behind.

     The slow, steady pull out of the lube drenched toy was one of the sexiest things he'd seen in a while, David left stretched wide and exhausted, eyes glassy and breathing unsteady. A round two right now would be exhausting.. All the better then, once he got a chance to catch his breath. Bro set the toy aside and moved to settle beside David again, scooping him close to cuddle, stroking a bare hand down his side and hip over and over.

     “You did so good.. So, so good. I told you you could do it,” he praised, voice soft. “Did you like it too, or did your dick only like it?”

     “I liked it,” David mumbled, sounding like he had a few drinks under his belt all at once. “A lot. ..Jesus. I might fuck around with that thing a bit on my own later. You do know we'll have to tuck that where the boys can't get at it yet, right? They'd land in the ER, impatient little shits.”

     “Still up for that second round?” Bro asked. When David groaned and shifted his arms to bat him off, starting to sleepily cuss at him, he snorted and nosed softly at his hair. “I meant later, man, relax, relax. ..Wanna trust me to buy stuff in the future without throwin' as much of a shit fit?”

     “No,” David said quickly. “You're cut off from buyin' shit for a bit.”

     “Fine, fine, we both know I'm gonna do what I want anyway,” Bro mumbled, continuing to stroke and pet on David, kissing at him till the man rolled over and slung a leg carefully up over Bro's hip. His movements were slow and sluggish, and perhaps even a little cautious as if sore, but not a single complaint about the experience was on his lips.

     “You're cut off because I'm going to be buying next, and we'll see if I can make you break down or not.”

     “....I'd be up for makin' a bet on that.”

     “You're on,” David mumbled, then turned his face to mash it into Bro's shoulder, breathing slower. “..After a nap.”


End file.
